Every Time You Go Away...

... you take a piece of me with you.

It's 8:18 AM and she has just left for Jacksonville, to see her mother. I understand why. I have a mother too, and there are times when you just have to take care of business.

In this case, Gram (my Mom-in-law) is in failing health, and has reached the point where she can't truly take care of herself. As a temporary measure, she moved in with her younger sister over a year ago! While my aunt-in-law is in much better health than Gram, she is is only two years younger...still over 80! It won't be much longer before she needs pretty much constant assistance, and neither of them are facing up to what that's going to mean for Gram.

So the situation is, Gram can't live alone. She needs help just for everyday personal hygiene and maintenance, not to mention meals and housekeeping. She could go home, but she'd have to hire someone to at least check in on her, make sure she's eating and taking her medications, and help take care of those hygiene issues. She'd also have to have someone come in to clean house regularly, and help do the wash. Family could fill in with taking her shopping and to meet her appointments.

She doesn't really want to do all that though, and her house is sitting unoccupied, and has already been broken into at least once.

My Honey has been going down to try and get things taken care of, usually spending about a week at a time. Sometimes it's been once a month, but at least every other month, ever since Gram was hospitalized in January of 2008. She usually gets things started and makes some progress, but as soon as she leaves to come home, all progress stops. Now she's going back down, facing another 350-odd miles of bad weather and outlandish traffic hazards, to try and kick-start things once again.

I hate to let her go alone, but it doesn't make sense for me to hang around there, essentially doing nothing, for up to two weeks. What she hopes to do, is get Gram to approve some kind of plan for disposing of possessions that she won't be able to take into an assisted living facility. As an "outlaw" I wouldn't dare make any suggestions, and I would end up standing around, killing time, while others argued and cajoled. I might be asked to carry something, but that would be about it. Honestly, I've driven enough (over 3600!) non-productive miles to, and in Florida recently, and my derriere has no desire to repeat the experience quite so soon.

My Honey, on the other hand, feels she has no real choice in the matter, so I watched, threw kisses, and waved goodbye, until she drove out of sight. I'll spend the next few hours worrying about her having to drive the distance, then I'll spend the next several days, as much as two weeks worth, worrying about her working alone in that old house.

Bummer.

Mariner.