Humor: why men die before their wives

My friend Bill sent me a list of old two-liners recently.  You know the ones, the first part is a question, the second part is the answer. Anyway, there were over a dozen of them, and they were all the kind of thing guaranteed to make some women yell chauvinist pig! Everyone has heard them before, so I won't repeat them here, except one:

Q: Why do men die before their wives?

A: They want to.

Coincidently, I was on MSN some time later, following a comment thread about male/female relationships, when I found an expansion of this idea.  Oddly enough, it was posted by a woman, and after reading it, I nearly died laughing.  Having been on the receiving end of many of these attitudes, at one time or another, I am totally unapologetic. If the shoe doesn't fit, leave it in the box.  For your enjoyment, edification, or whatever you like, here it is.

Why Men Die First
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but now we know:

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist; but if you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy;

If you work too hard, you never have any time for her; but if you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum;

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, she is a victim of exploitation and deserves sympathy; but if you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your lazy behind and find something better;

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's discrimination; but if she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity;

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment; but if you keep quiet, it's male indifference;

If you cry, you're a wimp; but if you don't, you're an insensitive bastard;

If you make a decision without consulting her, you don't value her opinions; but if she makes a decision without consulting you, she's just being liberated;

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, you're being domineering; but if she asks you, she's just asking a favor;

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert; but if you don't, you're probably queer;

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist; but if you don't, you're unromantic;

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain; but if you don't, you're a slob;

If you buy her flowers, you're after something; but if you don't, you're being thoughtless;.

If tell her that you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself; but if you don't, you're not ambitious enough;

If she has a headache, she's just tired; but if you have a headache, you don't love her anymore;

If you want it (sex) more often than she does, you're oversexed; but if you don't, there must be someone else.

Men die first because they want to!

OK, so don't kill the messenger. I didn't make these up, and as I said, I found them on a woman's blog!

My own observations:

Years of negative feedback probably can shorten a life.The relationship in which it is generated need not be a marriage.

It probably doesn't even have to be a heterosexual relationship.

Or even have a romantic origin.

Ciao.